Raleigh Family Attorney Shares More Insights on Explaining Divorce to Kids
As a caring family lawyer, I can help
see you through divorce and many of the aspects of this difficult process.
In this article, I’ll
share more tips on how you can talk to your kids about divorce. Knowing how to
explain it to children, and answer their questions, can help you hold your
family together even in the face of separation.
underestimate your children
Divorce is one of those
“adult” things that you might think are completely incomprehensible to
children. But the truth is, nowadays, kids tend to be rather familiar with the
On a very basic level,
children who have been going to school – and encountered classmates whose
parents are divorced – may already know that “divorce” means one’s mommy and
daddy will no longer be living together. They might be not as interested in
what “divorce” means regarding separation of assets, but what it really means
don’t need to let them know every detail
Some children may press
you with questions on why you are divorcing. Be truthful, but you don’t tell
them every detail. For example, if you were breaking up due to incompatibility
or infidelity, you could simply say, “Sometimes, adults become unhappy living
together and decide things maybe best for everyone to do things differently.”
“There is someone else
that I/he/she will be happier living with” is a rather awful way to put it.
Even worse: “Your father/mother does not love me anymore and loves someone
else.” Saying this could imply that a
parent might also stop loving a child, not to mention have an effect on how a
judge perceives your child custody case (if it comes to that).
Neither should you say one
parent’s actions or behavior is the reason for the divorce. Kids who see
themselves as reflection of their parents could feel they should share the
blame too – not to mention choose between parents.
put all the responsibility for explaining on you
As with other aspects of
divorce, you might feel the whole world is on your shoulders, but it isn’t.
Do you have a relative or
family friend your children are particularly close to? Do you have a trusting
relationship with their babysitter or nanny?
You could ask these people
to help address other questions or concerns from your kids. Their attitude and
reassurances about it could also comfort your children as they process the
changes in your family life. I have even
had a judge instruct parties to tell the children together. This may not always
be possible, but if it is it could help a miscommunication and keep you and
your soon-to-be ex on the same page of what the children are told.
you have any more questions or reservations about how to talk to your children,
feel free to discuss it with a caring and compassionate family lawyer with
Kurtz & Blum. Call us today at
How do I explain reason
for divorce to children? TheSpectrum.com
How to tell your child
you’re getting divorced (ages 5 to 8), BabyCenter.com
How to explain divorce to kids, Care.com