The Questions You Should Ask Before Filing for Divorce

Are disagreements and differences weighing down your marriage? Whatever you may be going through, you should understand that divorce is a life-changing step, and, like marriage, should not be taken without preparation. Oftentimes marital disputes can be addressed through counseling or a brief separation period to give yourself time to heal or to reflect on your life.

The Daily Times and The New York Times have recently posted articles that ask the questions you should consider before calling a Raleigh family lawyer and pursuing a divorce. Here are several of the questions that can assist you in deciding if a divorce or a separation is the right step for you at this time.

On communication and roles

Most relationships boil down to how well partners communicate, understand, and compromise with one another. If you have been having problems, ask yourself the following questions:

  • Have you made clear your concerns about the relationship?
  • Do you and your spouse have shared expectations about the roles you play in the relationship?

Emotional investment

No matter how rationally you approach relationship issues, it’s undeniable that emotions will always play a primary role in your actions – that is, if they have not already compounded your problems. Consider if things said or done in anger made things worse, and if calming emotions will improve them. Since the level of emotional maturity is the foundation that builds healthy, long-term relationships ask yourself:

  • Would you really be happier without your partner?
  • Do you still love him or her?

Practical responsibilities

Don’t forget that there are many practicalities to be considered before starting or ending a marriage. Ask yourself:

  • Am I prepared for the financial stress divorce may bring?
  • Am I ready to take care of the day-to-day details of living that my spouse took care of?

Living independently once again – in all senses of the word – is not something to be taken lightly.

The children’s well-being

Ultimately, a marriage’s dissolution will not only impact the two partners, but the rest of their family as well. Noting that children can have different reactions to their parents’ troubles, depending on their ages and relationships with each parent, ask yourself:

  • How can a divorce be handled to minimize the harm on the children?
  • Are you willing to create a new relationship with your partner as a co-parent?
  • What type of custody arrangement are you willing to have?
  • Who will pay for the children’s needs/support?

Legal counsel

Kurtz & Blum, PLLC will be happy to assist you, whatever your final decision is. An experienced family lawyer from our team will help you in a variety of ways: handling divorce papers, drafting postnuptial agreements – or going through the questions above with you.

The important thing is that you can make one of the most crucial decisions of your life and follow it through with the best support possible.

Give us a call today at 919-832-7700 to schedule a low-cost initial consultation.


  • 11 Questions to Ask Before Getting a Divorce,
  • Questions to ask before getting a divorce,